The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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