Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
