I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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