I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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