Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
