I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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