her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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