we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found the puke drawer
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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