If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
