he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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