It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
