Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
