i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
