you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
