You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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