Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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