Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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