I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hippo gnu deer
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
