Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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