So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
