Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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