he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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