What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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