so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
