the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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