4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
