i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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