I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
