the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
