I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
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