I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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