Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
