So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
