after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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