well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
