i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
