Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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