Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
