I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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