It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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