No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
