Don't make out with my wife yet
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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