suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
