He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
