Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
