Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
