Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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