You can't special order awesome
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
