i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
