I love having hate sex.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
