I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
