What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
