i think i have herpe
just one?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
