it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
